Kamala did it with his stomach, Sweeney does it with the mic
By Jon Chattman

Larry Sweeney can cut a wrestling promo as good as Didi Seven can remove stains. He’s that good. In an industry where size matters, and personality often doesn’t, the man they call “Sweet & Sour” is taking the industry back to its roots- he’s cool, he’s cocky, and well, to quote the Honkey Tonk Man he’s bad. And by bad, we mean good obviously.

Yes, depending on when you read this, Sweeney will either be a rising wrestling personality about to burst into the mainstream or an established commodity that’s already on your kid’s t-shirt or your boyfriend’s boxers. Terrible imagery aside, the grappler and current Ring of Honor personality is rapidly working his way up the ranks in the wrestling business. The 27 year old, who has wrestled all over the world from Mexico to a New Rochelle, NY gymnasium, has been on the fast track ever since he trained in professional wrestling in - all all places - India.

In just about four years (give or take a year), Sweeney has been a regular in the indie circuit, winning various titles including the CHIKARA Young Lions Cup, the PWE Heavyweight Championship, and the highly coveted ICW/ICWA Texarkana Television Championship, and has faced off against such legends as Kamala, The Iron Sheik, and Steve “Dr. Death” Williams.

Recently, Sweeney took part in a New York State Wrestling Federation event in aforementioned New Rochelle, where he took on Larry Barnes (44-3-0, 17 KO’s) in a special Boxer vs. Wrestler match. Whether he won that match is irrelevant. I recently spoke with Sweeney, and found him delightful. Without further delay or smoke, let’s get to some “Sour Times.” (Poor use of a Portishead song indeed.)



Obvious first question: Did you always know you’d want to be a wrestler and/or manager?
Yes, I did. From the very moment that I saw Akeem throw Miss Elizabeth onto the Macho Man on that fateful night where the Megapowers exploded, which was immediately followed by a Mountain Dew ‘Slam of the Night’ featuring Jake Roberts, I realized that these guys were as cool as it gets, and if I could do it too, I would also be cool.

Who’d you idolize growing up? Who influenced you most?
I idolized Hector Villaneuva, second string catcher for the Cubs ‘90-’92, and Mr. Markham, my junior year English teacher. Their examples both pushed me towards wrestling. See Hector for the finest porn ’stache in baseball during the years he played for the Cubs. As far as wrestling influences, I’ve got to give it up to “Playboy” Buddy Rose and “Nature Boy” Buddy Landell for in-ring panache and Jerry Lynn and Tom Brandi for out-of-ring class.

How’d you get the nickname Sweet n’ Sour?
Everything in this world is defined by its opposite; there is no such thing as hot without cold, no such thing as good without evil. As I am a man who embodies the full spectrum of human experience, this was a fitting nickname.

Listen, your t-shirts have a vintage “Macho Man” look - with the glasses. Was that intentional?
Really? Wait, are you with the WWE legal department? Um, no, the similarity is purely coincidence.

You mention Hector Villaneuva, which I’m sure he appreciates, but which is more likely to happen - The Cubs win the World Series this year or John Oates grows his mustache back?
Cubbies, baby! I don’t know why Oates would shave the ’stache in the first place, but it’s up to him to grow it back. The Cubs winning this year, that up to the fates and I’ve got a good feeling.

Speaking of the Cubs only not really, is it true you’re an ordained minister - if so, can you marry my friend this summer?
It is true that I’m an ordained minister through the Church of Universal Life. Give your friend my contact info so we can discuss prices.

Rich, call Larry. Good that’s out of the way. In the history of wrestling, which wrestler should’ve really never worn tights? Explain.
Wrestling is a story of the collision of two bodies, it’s flesh against flesh; therefore, every wrestler should wear tights. That being said, the bare thighs of the late great “Earthquake” John Tenta made the consumption of breakfast during Saturday morning wrestling an arduous task.

How’d you come up with your ring attire? Are tights really necessary if you’re a wrestler?
Yes, tights are necessary. What’s the obsession with tights? What are you really looking to see?

It is my contention that the fullest expression of masculinity is a flamboyant one. In nature, look at yon peacock, and how he attracts female mates. In society, look at yon moustache-sporter, and note his success at the local Applebee’s. My tights are an extension of that thinking.

You admit to using a tanning booth often. Does this make you a metrosexual?
Absolutely not my friend. Tanning is a necessity if you are a professional wrestler, nothing metro about that. The use of a booth by any regular male, while admittedly highly suspect, is still recommend by this authority.

You make a very good argument. Similarly, Rick Moranis was tan in a movie once. Is he underrated?
I’m not sure about that one, but Steve Guttenburg is without a doubt.

This is absolutely true. Just look at the pure genius of Don’t Tell Her It’s Me. You recently squared off against boxer Larry Barnes. Do you have any plans for more “Larry vs. Larry” matches? Should Larry Hagman and the guy who played Jack Tripper’s friend on “Three’s Company” be nervous?
It is a distinct possibility. Hagman’s okay, [but] I’ve got my sights set on Cousin Larry from Perfect Strangers. What a dick. I’m looking to get him in the ring.

Yeah, he was a jerk and had a really terrible perm. Back to wrestling, please explain what the ICW/ICWA Texarkana Television title is all about and how it came about.
The ICW/ICWA Texarkana Television Title is the only remnant of professional wrestling’s great territorial heritage that survives in the modern era. It was an active title between ‘81 and ”83 in the Southern Central states, and revived in 2005 as an independant title. I got a spot in the tournament to crown the new champion via my good friend ‘Playboy’ Buddy Rose, and went on to win the title in Shreveport, Louisiana in June of that year. I’ve since gone on to hold it on 21 separate occasions and am the current champion.

What’s your experience been like at Ring of Honor?
It’s been fantastic. The exposure and thrill of being with a top-notch company are unparalleled. I’ve met some tremendous people—including Koko B.Ware at a convention in San Francisco last fall–and [have] gotten the chance to travel more than ever before.

Where do you see yourself in the near future? TNA? WWE? Acting?
I’m currently under contract to ROH, so I’ll be here for the near future. After that, it’s anybody’s guess, but I’m shooting for the stars.

Go get them, kid. Do it for Hector! Last question. have you ever been guilty of a cheap pop?
There is no such thing as a cheap pop, my friend.